There are two types of “pick up artists” (I dislike the concept but most of them are good natured)
The somewhat awkward pua who has learnt the game but has yet to refine his skills. He uses set plays and pre recorded message type conversation. He holds on to pick up lines to mask the fact that he is nervous and doesn’t really know what to say to women. Most of the guys in clubs in bars are this type. I’m not having a go at these dudes, they are trying and most of them want to get better but sill… (you don’t want to be this guy)
The second pua is the guy who is natural around women. He does not need to learn what to say or how to act because being funny and the centre of attention comes naturally. Women feel comfortable in his presence and his conversation flows naturally. His compliments are not forced but well timed and sincere.
The question is… how do you transition from the guy who is trying to act natural to the master? Because the natural smooth talking alpha male is the guy who gets all the women at the end of the night ( if he wants them )
Here's How:
You need to be different, study how the natural guys act. They don’t bother with buying drinks or striking up conversation with every women in the bar. They are confident within their peer group of male friends and are usually doing something like playing pool or chatting with a female friend that they already know. This female friend is not based on a sexual relationship but gives the man huge leverage and attraction.
Their conversation is much different from everyone else’s. They genuinely care about the women they are talking to and ask open ended questions while waiting for a reply. They actively listen instead of cutting in and talking about themselves.
It takes confidence to ask questions and listen – any fool can blabber about something he is interested in (she wont be).
Rather than buying drinks in the hopes of lowering her inhibitions the alpha engages in active activity based conversation. The alpha does not try to impress women but does so anyway. Engaging trivia or quiz based questions that are different from the normal “so what do you do?” approach works.
The alpha knows how to electrify the conversation with sexual tension at the right time using body language – conversation pauses and prolonged eye contact.
The alpha does not take himself seriously around women so conversation is relaxed and flows naturally. The key is making her feel at home in your presence and the best way to do this is will humour and light heartedness.
The alpha cares little about the outcome of the night and does not rate the night on number of phone calls won from boozed girls.
He is there to have a good time and as a result pulls 10:1 over everyone else who is actually trying.
Women are subconsciously attracted to a mind that is at peace.
Think zenhabits.net
If your mind is skipping from anxiety to fear to forced laughter in the hope of her approval she WILL sense this.
If you mind is clear and focused only on her you can be sure she will respond positively to almost anything you say.
Many guys have got this pick up thing all wrong and it’s not the pua artists fault (they know what they are doing)
Most guys are way to focused on what they are saying rather than how they feel inside.
You will have heard before that your speech matters little in a conversation when compared with your tone confidence and body language.
Practice the 80/20 rule and work on yourself, your posture your attitude and your smile.
When you feel at peace with yourself (no anxiety) you know you are on the right path.
It’s not about words and reading (or though learning is important) it’s about doing and feeling! When you “feel it” that feeling of confidence when a women responds to your approach, remember how that felt. What you say means little. Compliments work great and you should use them early in a conversation but remember that the guru pick up artists have one thing over you…
A clear mind…
Conversation comes easily in tight stressful situations because they are not plagued by anxiety and fear of rejection.
Women are magnetically attracted to their presence and tone of voice. Have you ever heard someone talk and just felt better straight away? It’s not what they were saying but the emotion and love behind it.
Yes you can still print your name and number on a card so your ready to hand them out at bars
Yes you can still use pick up lines
But when you learn to clear your mind, confidence and magnetic conversation will flow naturally like it’s supposed to.
